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Friday 24 November 2017

Christmas crap

Today found us wandering through the Christmas section of a large local retail outlet. Mountains of Christmas crap as far as the eye could see, which I suppose one just has to accept at this time of year. Ghastly but traditional.

One of the objects on display was a particularly hideous figurine cast from some kind resin. It was supposed to be a fairy about ten inches high in pastel colours and sparkly bits, priced at a ridiculously expensive £22. It isn't at all easy to find words to describe how unpleasant and absurdly twee the thing was. Even Disney might have rejected it as a step too far.

An equally appalling item was a plastic bird in a plastic tree which played a plastic tune when one pressed a plastic button partly hidden in plastic grass beneath the tree. Again there are no words - 'horrible' just doesn't do it justice.

However there is a spooky side to all this Christmas crap, because as far as I could see nobody was buying any of it. Not a single item was picked up and taken to the till. Strange eh? What is it all doing there? Is it a cunning retail plan to make us sick of the whole charade and even out spending patterns?

6 comments:

Sam Vega said...

Marketing experts probably have a name for it, but I suspect this sort of tat is bought either in a last-minute panic; or by educated middle-class people for purposes of jokey post-modern irony; or for a small but distinct group who genuinely think it is pleasing to have around. For the latter group, it is to Christmas what rubber and bondage gear is to sex.

Anonymous said...

I think most adults after the age of 40 hate Christmas. A tiresome burden, rushing around, parties you don't want to go to or throw. I noticed an ad that proposed the foolish buy a nice new telly for Christmas, a snip at £500 and a toy for the brats at a mere £260. Social media could play a role here, 'it's not true and you're being taken for a mug'. But then I'm a confirmed grinch.

Scrobs. said...

We were at a garden centre recently, one of those which in winter, masquerades as a tat stall but with awful taste. (The plants in summer are fine).

We could hear this racket coming from somewhere, and after turning several brightly coloured corners, came upon a whole area just full of plastic trains, red windmills etc, and all playing some hideous squeaky 'music'. The prices went up to nearly £200.00!

As they used to say in 'The News of The World', we made an excuse and left...

wiggiatlarge said...

There is a new roundabout not far from here, that has a larger than real life model horse stuck in the center, there is no description no reason given for the presence, is it a Trojan horse is it for Christmas does it light up at night ? very strange.

Demetrius said...

We are looking forward to our shoulder of hogget, now in the freezer.

A K Haart said...

Sam - we used to exchange tasteless gifts with a couple of friends to see who could find the most extreme piece of tat. Maybe the market for that idea is bigger than we knew.

Roger - to my mind the worst aspect of Christmas is the sense of compulsion and no doubt that is what many adults grow to dislike once the kids have found out about Santa.

Scrobs - £200? I bet it was made in China too. Everything is as far as I can see.

Wiggia - if I remember rightly there is a model bull on a roundabout in Uttoxeter. Somehow that seems appropriate.

Demetrius - but what about the plastic tat?